Hineni.
A Kavanah by Devorah for Tisha B’Av I am here, standing in the desert. I wear heavy clothing that will protect me from bullets, but not from my hurting heart. I am here, my breasts filling with milk, for a baby that is home on the other side of the world. I am here, silent, while others around me are complaining. We have stood here a long time. They said the bus would come for us. That was four hours ago. It is the middle of the night. No one has come. So we wait. I am here, looking down at my boots. They are tan suede, covered in dust. My socks are dirty from 2 days of travel, bunched up, hurting my toes. I am here, turning my head up to see the moon and stars above, more clearly than I have ever seen them before. I see into the Universe, and suddenly feel it. I know. Hinei. I am here, more present than ever before in my life. I am here in the desert. I am here stripped bare. I am here without my child. I am here with aching breasts. I am here dirty, hungry, thirsty. I am here with a back that hurts, with sweaty socks, a body that wants to sleep. I am here, and nowhere else. I am here, and I accept it. I am here and I embrace it. There is nothing I can do to change it, I realize I do not want to change it. This is the journey. Hineni.
1 Comment
Joan lefferman
8/20/2020 03:59:11 am
I am deeply moved by this piece.
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ReflectionsHineni.Space posts brief daily offerings (Elul meditations, reflections, poetry, and melodies). There is a tradition to hear the shofar every day of the month of Elul and to recite the verses of Psalm 27. Archives
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